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The Sunday Stew Report

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The Sunday Stew Report

Post by Slim on Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:46 am

After each Sunday Stew ride I will write a little fun report on what happened and the adventures along the way. These reports are written in good humor so please enjoy them and if something bothers you please let me know.
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Stew Report 11/7/10

Post by Slim on Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:46 am

The inaugural stew ride rolled out of Bann with 5 riders prepared to brave the dreary, winter, German weather. Rain and cold were in the forecast and the chances of actually seeing the sun were zero.

Through Queidersbach, we discussed the route, the weather and the many, many sounds of Jim’s bike. He would drop back and talk, roll back up and there would be a new one. Squeek, Squak, Swoosh, Click, Clack. At this point, I realized there would be no sneak attack from Jim on the climbs, and I was actually a little curious what sounds could be made if he wound it up for a sprint. Only time would tell.

As we made our way to Stelzenberg, we would see the first splinter of the group. This was not a KOM zone and the idea was to roll up it as a group, but anybody who has climbed up to Stelzenberg from any direction knows there is not an easy way to do it. We regrouped at the top and began the cold descent down into the next valley.

The group rolled through the valley on the stretch that led to the first KOM. We took turns rotating on the front gradually rolling up hill. This would be the second and final split of the group. Not realizing we had lost two, we trucked on. Jim had laid back to make sure Brad was alright, and then began the chase to the group.

We made the turn for the first KOM and began the climb. We discussed waiting to see if Jim was on his way but after a vote a little more organized than a Wed. night RACC meeting we pressed on. We went up the climb at a steady pace and decided we would make this a neutral zone due to the confusion of earlier.

Now one KOM passed with no leader designated, we descended into the next valley towards the first sprint. As we made our way down the winding road the group dodged the smashed toad carcasses scattered about. We neared the first sprint zone and no one was feeling too frisky so the three riders rolled on through. It turned out to be a good thing because I had not realized the sign was next to a church and there was new road furniture scattered about on each side. Anyone who has spent enough time in Germany knows that while you will never see a German J-walk, they have no problem parking their cars wherever they feel like it.

The next climb was pretty uneventful. I picked up a few KOM points with Chad in tow, followed up by Justin. We descended into the next valley and began our journey to the final climb of the day. As we turned on the road towards Johaniskruez, Chad took a flyer. Justin and I talked as Chad tapped out a steady rhythm and began to pull away. I didn’t think too much of it, expecting him to get tired, bored, or lonely on the 5-mile trek to the top. It soon became apparent that he really had no intention of allowing it to come to a climbing duel. He soloed to the top taking final honors on the last and biggest climb of the day.

With the group pretty much blown up we followed the smell of stew and fresh baked cookies back to the house. The only thing really going through my mind was beer and getting my feet out of the puddles of water my shoes had collected over the trip. We finally caught up with Jim, and in an effort to head us off he zig-zagged around the route missing us by a few minutes at a couple locations. I never got to hear the full extent of the sounds of his bike, but all in all it was a great ride for the first time. There are a few kinks still to be worked out with the zones but the tally is as follows.

KOM 1- neutral
KOM 2- Slim, Little Lance, *Crossed up, ** Squeeky
KOM 3- Little Lance, Slim, *Crossed up, *** Squeeky

*- Completed ride on Cross bike with Knobies
**- Not sure if Jim went up the climb
***- Sounds like Jim went down the climb and back up it before we even got to it

Riders- Chad, Justin, Jim, Erik, Brad

11/7/10 2:45:17

Next ride is Nov. 21, hope to see you out there.
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Stew Report 11/21/10

Post by Slim on Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:49 am

Better late than never I always say (I am usually late so I have to try and put a positive spin on it). I can blame it on the holidays, friends, family, or any of the millions of excuses that come to mind, but the truth is… I just haven’t got around to it. The next Stew ride is already upon us and I am only just now finishing this report. Well, for the number of you that were either the late or nevers from the last ride or those of you that are interested, here is a quick and dirty of the events that transpired.

The Stew Crew rolled out of Bann on time and 5 strong. A few less than had committed, but I like to consider it a work in progress. It was a chilly morning, but overall, a nice break from the seemingly endless rain that had plagued the area.

The crew cruised along through Queidersbach on to Stelzenberg. There, we picked up Trent and made our way through the valley towards the first unofficial sprint. Not everyone was on the same page here and as Jim surged forward to take some pics, Chad jumped on his wheel and then attacked to take the one-man sprint. I instead opted for a photo shoot, but decided it was a little too cold to unzip the jacket a little and show some skin, so all of you will just have to wait until the summer to see my bird chest and amazing cycling tan. Jim rolled down the line getting everyone’s photos and then a few group shots, which we hope to see soon. (hint, hint Jim)

The pack soon arrived at the first KOM. The dynamic duo SLIMJIM went off the front, with Jim passing Slim at the line. Followed by Jen and Gil. Chad hung back with Trent for a little bit until Trent peeled off. At the top, the Fab. Five regrouped and pressed onward towards the next climb.

The next KOM saw SLIMJIM and Chad roll off the front with Gil in tow and Jen bringing up the rear so as to not damage our fragile male egos with another top 3 placing. The group split up the slopes spread out by a handful of seconds. It was Slim, Chad, Jim, Gil, and Jen.

With the Fab. Five back together we began our way down the bone chilling descent. One of the longer descents of the ride, it rolls around the ridgeline for a while. Jim took a flyer here followed by Chad and Gil. For a little bit, I thought Jim was going to one-up Chad’s flyer from the week before and try to take the next KOM from 7 miles out. At the bottom we found Jim waiting and the first thing to come out of his mouth was “I like to go downhill fast”.

Now in the next valley, the group began the slog up to the final KOM. It is around 5 miles from the time we turn onto the road to the top and it is up hill the whole way. The group rolled along, gradually gaining elevation with Jim and Chad tapping out a steady rhythm at the front. The first spike in the road saw Jen and Slim go out the back, losing ground with each pedal stroke. Still able to keep the other riders in sight, we watch as the next spike saw Gil get left in the wake of the pain train a.k.a. CHIM.

Now from here, I lost sight of CHIM and can only speculate on what actually happened towards the top. Since I was not there I am going to assume it was a great battle that involved swords, cannons, and a damsel in distress. Chad’s cannon trumped Jim’s sword and the damsel just laughed at two grown lycra clad men engaged in a duel involving swords and cannons. Slim rounded out the top 3 followed by Gil and Jen. With the Fab. Five regrouped once more, they headed down the final monster descent to the final sprint.

The group practiced pace lining for a while until Slim took a flyer for the final victory. The effort was short lived as CHIM got on his wheel and passed him. CHIM flew past and eventually Jim took the final victory as Chad spun out his cross gearing. With all the zones behind the riders and the smell of stew beckoning, the Crew made their way back to Bann.

A new prize is introduced this week. The overall winner in points for all the zones will be the Stew Ride Champion and his/her prize is one of great value and prestige. Below is a picture of the champion’s prize. Once a bracket is made, it will be the champions responsibility to complete the following stew ride with the prize mounted on their bike for all riders to see. Due to not yet having an official points system for the zones, this weeks B.A.M.F. is Jim.



Sprint 1- Chad*
Sprint 2- Jim, Chad, Slim, Gil, Jen

KOM 1- Jim, Slim, Jen, Gil, Chad
KOM 2- Slim, Chad, Jim, Gil, Jen
KOM 3- Chad, Jim, Slim, Gil, Jen

* Chad was the only one to sprint, everyone else was involved in the Stew Crew photo shoot

Riders- Chad, Jim, Slim, Jen, Gil, Trent

11/21/10 2:43:32

Next ride is Dec. 5, hope to see you there
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by aggroflatty on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:04 pm

Good times! I enjoyed the read.

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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by Sharpbike on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:32 pm

Slim thanks for the stew Ride article. I really enjoyed reading it and I will get the pictures on FB in the next day or two.

In the meantime I will have to sharpen my sword in the coming months so that I can slay the cannon.

I will be there for these week's ride.

Have a great day.

I had already committed to sell X-mas trees with the Cub scouts on Sat so I will not be able to make the cross race.

BUMMER but I still we be in the cold like you just not riding. lol!

Jim
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by velo-doc on Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:00 pm

Definitely good times. It will be great to see this ride grow into a KMC Cycling staple. Looking forward to mixing it up again on Sunday w/ SLIMJIM and others. Oh, and as for the cannon...I'm getting the cross bike retrofitted with TOW missles and a 30mm Gatling, so sharpen your sword all you want Jim...I'm comin for ya BAMF! Very Happy
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by MJ on Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:28 pm

good read!

I need to get a suitable bike together so I may witness this epic battle first hand!
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by Sharpbike on Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:20 pm

Pictures are posted on FB. Only a couple Will take more the next ride.
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Stew Report 12/5/10

Post by Slim on Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:50 pm

I awoke to a pleasant surprise Sunday morning. No snow, no rain, and a good bit warmer than the past few days. This was especially nice because the forecast the night before had called for two inches of snow and about five degrees colder. It was still only 30 degrees, but hey, it is better than 25. An executive decision had been made to ride the cross bikes the night before due to the weather, and while it was a good choice for some of the snow and ice covered roads, it proved to be the destroyer of legs and souls.

In an effort to continue with the theme of last week there was a group photo shoot. Jim decided that this ride his hands were not coming out of his gloves, so the shoot took place before the start. It also might appear that Jim is in motion and blurry in the group photo, this is because he is just so damn fast even pictures can’t capture him. You may notice he was also not in last weeks photo shoot. It is kind of like trying to catch a glimpse Big Foot or the Loch Ness monster.

The ride rolled out on time, four strong. The brave little soldiers this week were Chad, Jim, Jen, and Slim. As the group rolled through Queidersbach, I began to hear it… Squeak, Squeak, Squeak. He’s back! It was the return of Squeaky. Only this time it was different. It was consistently squeaking with each pedal stroke. I began to wonder what was going on and I have come to the conclusion that it could really only be one thing. Very similar to the motor Fabian had hidden in bike to aid in his victories in the major Spring Classics, the squeaking had to be a hamster hidden in the seat tube of Jim’s bike. The hamster of course was connected to electrodes that ran to a button on Jim’s shifter. When Jim needed more power, he pushed the button, electricity was sent surging into the hamster, which caused it to squeak and spin its little legs off on a wheel attached to his rear wheel. I mean, that can really be the only plausible explanation.

On our way out of Queidersbach, Jen felt she did not have the legs for the ride and decided to turn back before she was too far into the winter slog. Over the Stelzenberg monster and down into the valley, we muscled on with the sound of nobbies buzzing on the pavement. Now three strong, this would be the first battle royale of the ride, only this time it was not in a zone or even known to the other riders that Slim was about to blow it up. To the surprise of the other two, Slim began to engage in a b***hfest. Things heated up and eventually cooled down. Decisions were made to remedy the problems and the three musketeers soldiered on.

The sprints this week had been neutralized due to road conditions, so the first real zone was the KOM out of Molschbach. The tempo was steady and high as Chad led it out. Jim flew past Slim, who was obviously tired from pushing against all the hot air coming out of his mouth earlier. Chad managed to pip Jim at the line, with Slim limping in a little behind. Soon the musketeers were groupo compacto as they made their way down the next ridge towards the second KOM.

The second KOM once again saw Chad set a steady rhythm at the front. Slim could only watch as CHIM strolled off the front. And then it happened, CHIM blew up and all that was left was Jim. Slim reeled in Jim as Chad effortlessly rode away. As SLIMJIM zigzagged up the climb we began to see a rider. Could it be that SLIMJIM was pulling Chad back? Not a chance! Somewhere up the climb Chad had dropped a decoy dressed similarly to fool the chasers. Well, when you get in the pain cave things become distorted and Chad’s decoy worked. Jim finished second, with Slim in the rear making sure no one dropped any water bottles.

In the valley, the group tapped out a steady pace and took turns pulling through the crisp, cold air. As they approached the final KOM, Chad pulled off the front, and Slim announced he would not be pulling through. There was not a peep to be heard out of Jim or his hamster. As we turned around we saw Jim dangling back a bit. Chad turned and once again motored off the front. Chad made it a hat trick, Slim finally didn’t finish last, and Jim was on water bottle duty.

At the top of the final KOM there were only remnants of the three cross riders. Each tiny bump in the road became a mountain. The riders were glad there were no more zones for two reasons: first there was nothing left in the tank, second it was really getting old watching Chad ride away from the other two. Beaten and broken they made their way towards the stew.

When the dust cleared and settled, Chad’s cannon was still victorious over Jim’s sword, and sadly, Slim did not get the memo and brought a slingshot to the fight. This weeks B.A.M.F. award goes to Chad! Take a bow Chad.

Since a bracket was not yet forged from the hot fires of Mount Olympus to carry the coveted Stew Ride prize, last weeks winner had to settle for a mug shot. For those of you that do not know, this is Jim.



KOM 1 - Chad, Jim, Slim
KOM 2 - Chad, Jim, Slim
KOM 3 - Chad, Slim, Jim

Riders- Chad, Jim, Slim, Jen

12/5/10 2:45

Next ride is Dec. 19, hope to see you there.
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by velo-doc on Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:34 am

Another great write-up Slim. It's always fun to read a recount of the ride's events...with a little comedic spin! All I could do on that ride was dream of having the lighter and more responsive Madone back underneath me, but it was a killer workout. Thanks again go out to Slim and VeloJen for hosting another ride and feeding us all some delicious stew. As always, my girls loved the visit...especially Analise :O) Looking forward to doing it again in two weeks.
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by Sharpbike on Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:23 am

Slim, I enjoyed reading your post. I look forward to the write up for a good laugh after such a great work out. Thank you and Jen for hosting the ride and feed the animals to include the Hamster afterward. Just to clear a couple things up. On the first climb I was not pipped at the line, it more like I tried to run my sword into a stone wall and Chad fired his cannon and flew by me. That hamster needs to be working out more and eating less as he didn’t respond when I pushed the accelerate button, dang fat hamster!!!

Chad can you post the Data from you GPS if you recorded it?
Pictures are posted on FB.

Looking forward to the next Stew ride on the 19th and Hope that we can get more people to enjoy training ride.
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by velo-doc on Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:54 am

I can post a link to the ride data, but I had 45mi, 2hr 45min, 16.3mph avg. I have not been uploading this ride every time, but let me know if you need it.
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by Sharpbike on Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:12 pm

That is good I just wanted to see our time and average so I could figure out why my legs felt like crap the rest of the day. Thanks
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Stew Ride 12/19/2010

Post by Slim on Thu Dec 30, 2010 8:40 pm

With 2010 coming to a close, Mother Nature wanted to give the Stew Crew a memory they would not forget. Several inches of snow, freezing cold temperatures, and a wonderful headwind that seemed to change directions with every turn the riders made were only a few of the obstacles that 3 brave souls would endure.

The group rolled out a little later than usual due to the lack of parking that greeted the newest member of the crew. It certainly was not from all of the riders flocking to the best every-other-Sunday ride in the Rheinland Pfalz area. No, it was more or less from 3-foot piles of snow left from the plows as they tried to make an ice path through the neighborhood.

A few of the usual suspects were there with the exception of Jim (Sleepy Dwarf). Dreams of sugarplum fairies dancing on his pedals as he motored away from Chad and Slim were apparently all the convincing he needed to accidentally oversleep (wink, wink). Luckily, a new rider by the name of Mike joined the group and the gap was filled.

Along the route we saw signs of things to come. It was Sunday, and like everything else in Germany on Sunday mornings, the plows were not working yet either. The roads were covered in a slushy snowy mess and the group was relegated to the tracks left from cars that had braved the road conditions earlier. On their way out of Queidersbach they were also welcomed to a very dangerous ice covered short cut that left the riders no choice but to take the long way.

With a few extra miles in the crew’s legs, they made their way up the Stelzenberg hill past Sleepy Dwarf’s house. As the crew glanced back, Slim swore he saw Sleepy’s head peeping out over the windowsill with a grin on his face, but that very well could have been hallucinations from the brain freeze he was receiving from the frozen wind cutting through his thin hat.

The roads had cleared up a bit as the group neared the K-town area. They made their way through the valley to the first KOM. The pace picked up as the sign neared and soon Chad was off the front. Slim decided to keep the tempo steady and was doing his own thing, while Mike looked rather confused. Even though he had been warned about the zone, he apparently did not understand. He looked at Slim a little baffled as Slim told him “Go get him! It is to the yellow sign” Mike stood up and in an impressive move, reeled Chad in. A strong surge saw Chad take it at the line, with Mike nipping at his heels, and Slim just diesel truckin’ it in the back. Once over the climb Mike and Chad let up as Slim kept it steady.

Over the Ridge and down through the valley, Slim kept it pumping at the front. As the next KOM approached, he asked for no help. The sound of knobbies buzzed on the pavement occasionally silenced as the riders navigated through the thick patches of snow and ice that the plows had not moved yet. The tempo was high as all 3 riders remained together. About 3 quarters of the way up Slim blew a gasket, sat up, and announced it was up to the other 2 to finish it out. Apparently Slim’s engine was not the only one with problems as the other 2 made no effort to deal the final blow. The 3 rode across the line together, splitting the points. Once the KOM was reached, the riders found another surprise. It must have been quitting time for the plows the night before because the pavement came to an abrupt stop and 3-4 inch deep snow was all that remained.

On the down hill the road was slick and there was not much pedaling to be done. The hard earned sweat from the last 2 battles began to freeze and the riders started to cool. This seemed to be welcomed by Chad and Mike, but Slim was starting to suffer. Although he had been working hard at building his own natural insulation, all of the one armed beer curls and high intensity remote reach intervals had not quite paid off. He began to freeze and shiver.

As the group finally approached the final KOM, the snow began to fall. Not just a pretty flurry, but instead a blinding white storm that stuck to the riders. As the weather wore on the group, they chatted on the climb with no one feeling overly frisky. Once again all 3 crossed the line together.

With more than half the ride finished it could only get better from there, right? WRONG! The plows had once again not touched the roads the crew was about to travel. They cautiously picked their lines down the ice covered hills and back into what should have been the final valley on the way home.

As reported earlier, the shortcut normally traveled was ice and the group had to improvise a reroute. Chad suggested going through Krichenbach and like a fool Slim agreed. Why not add on an extra climb that is steeper than anything on the route that already leaves riders broken?

Once over, the riders were on the home stretch. The smell of stew beckoned Chad and Mike, while Slim’s primary concern was the cake and beer intervals he would suffer through in an attempt to build more insulation.

Officially the longest ride on the books, both in time and distance. While all 3 riders were originally going to share the BAMF award, an executive decision was made and this rides award will go to Mike. He just bought his cross bike a week before the ride, did the longest ride on the books, and stayed right in the thick of things. He has earned the title Iron Mike. At least until the group can break him on a future ride or he claims he overslept.

KOM 1 – Chad, Iron Mike, Slim

KOM 2 – 3 way tie

KOM 3 – 3 way tie

Riders – Chad, Slim, Iron Mike

12/19/10 3:23:56 extra distance due to detour 46.74 miles

Next ride is Jan. 2 2011, hope to see you there.

Jim and his tiny German critter friends dreaming of Sugarplum fairies
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by MJ on Fri Dec 31, 2010 2:48 pm

As always a joy to read the report and interesting ride and some fantastic food no doubt - Thanks! I fear we may all be in for trouble when the Sleepy Dwarf returns from his slumber (training camp) in The Enchanted Forest!

It's an honor to hold the prestigious BAMF title for a moment. I can't shake this cold and may have to drag along an iron lung this Sunday. You will probably find me in tow like an iron boat anchor!

Thanks again Slim & Jen!
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by aggroflatty on Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:33 am

You guys inpsire me to go to our dungeon (AKA the gym) and get on the spin bike. It sucks in a big way, but not nearly as bad as snow/ice and freezing cold temps.

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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

Post by Sharpbike on Wed Jan 26, 2011 8:26 pm

I am so depressed. I have been waiting for the stew report oh where art thou!
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Re: The Sunday Stew Report

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